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Into the Sun (2005)
IMDB rating: 4.10
Plot: After the assassination of Tokyo’s Governor by Yakuza members, the CIA bureau chief (William Atherton) for Tokyo puts out a call to an agent (Steven Seagal) that had been raised in Japan and trained by ex-Yakuza. Using his former ties, he quickly determines that a war is brewing between old-guard Yakuza members and a young, crazed leader (Takao Osawa) with ties to the Chinese Tong. Siding with the older members, killing and mayhem ensues as Segal chops his way through the upstart gang members. Contains frequent profanity, very gory violence involving considerable swordplay, some nudity and mild sexual situations.
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Directors: mink
Actors: Seagal Steven,Davis Matthew,Osawa Takao,George Eddie,Atherton William,Ken Lo,Toyohara Kosuke,Terao Akira,Masatoh Eve,Ohmura Namihiko,Honda Daisuke,Action,Adventure,Thriller,
Opinion on my writing (sample included)?
I just want a general opinion on my writing and any advice on what you might give me. Thanks.
Earth. It was always my place, as it was everyone’s. It was where life was sustained, where life existed.
And then it all went spiraling downwards.
"Kaylee, come down here, my love." The peaceful and composed tones of Phillip were enough to bring me floating down the stairs and into the safe arms of my husband. I kissed his cheek. And then I looked into his eyes. Panic.
"What’s wrong?"
"Kaylee, do you know the date?"
I looked over to the clock. "December 21," I replied slowly.
"Yes. December 21, 2012. One of two dates assumed to be the end of the world, predicted by the Mayans."
"Dear, nothing will happen. I stood up and skipped to the kitchen. "You’re being paranoid. It’s already eight at night. If nothing happened so far, nothing will. Besides, I am tired of these conspiracy theories."
"It already has. Come here."
I slowly walked into the living room, a room flushed in peaceful white. He picked up the remote and pointed it at the television. The news came on.
"Over 2 million in Europe have died from this catastrophe that was once believed to be merely a theory. Several escape plots are currently in place, but it won’t be enough to save the near 7 billion people in the world. We recommend that everyone remains calm until a national government plan is put in place."
Phillip’s laugh burst out, and he turned off the television. "A plan, right. It’s not like everyone in the world could be saved in the quickness the catastrophe is booming through the world."
"My sister lives in the heart of London," I said, the tone of my voice shrinking. "Surely she has been a victim," I added, my voice breaking.
"My love, don’t worry. I’m sure she will be alright. We all will. Because we are getting an immediate escape, as I am a military officer. No time to pack possessions. We leave in ten minutes."
"What exactly has happened? What is the cause of this?"
"It’s partially because of the sun, partially because of the core exploding. Other than that, I can only guess."
"I’ll grab Carrie."
I walked into her nursery, and gently picked her up to keep her in her slumber.
My daughter. She was my life, as well as my husband’s. I would do anything and everything I could to save her.
Once she was safely in my arms, I walked into my bedroom for what could be the last time, and took out a box. It held pictures, letters, memories. It was my life story, and I brought it with, although Phillip had told me not to. He couldn’t deny my memories.
We got in his car and sped away to a military base.
"Shit," Phillip shouted, and turned the car sharply.
Fire shot through the core of the earth, and the pain was inescapable. I was twenty four when I died.
My death was one of the first I would assume, as I watched over the planet in heaven. I longed to help the ones I loved, but I was barred from giving my assistance. I had to watch, helpless, as my friends and family died.
My family never believed in the doomsday that was believed to occur in 2012. It was a joke, a hoax to all of us.
But now it was time to believe.
It was always up to interpretation on what would happen. Some believed it would bring about a new era, and others believed it would bring death. None would have liked to believe that the latter would be the result. But it was.
All I could see was my old home, and I floated there in the sky, right above the clouds. I felt tears to my eyes. Spirits were able to cry.
All the pain and suffering the people I cared about was despised on my part. I wished for their death only so they could be safe.
The ending of the world didn’t go on for long, and soon, all were dead. The only reason I was grateful of this tragedy was because I knew they were now in a better place, safe.
But I couldn’t find my family. I couldn’t find anyone. I was in a world of light.
The light spread, morphing into thousands of beams of light. And then I closed my eyes.
I could no longer see light, I opened them.
I was alive.
Earth was different, pale and basic. There was nothing but fields of grass and forests. There surely was oceans and bodies of water, deserts and stretches of mountains.
We who once lived in an advanced world now had to sustain life in a prehistoric world.
It was the chance to improve the life we once had.
Although I just skimmed it, I really don’t see the point of the story. Is there some kind of hidden message in there somewhere? The tone of the story changes so quickly, first it’s the end of the world then suddenly your in heaven, then back on earth, and blah blah.
One thing I did notice, you put too much description in some places. "Voice shrinking" and "voice breaking" in the same sentence, "skipped" to the kitchen, "floated down the stairs," bleh.
Meh, but what do I know, I hate writing stories.
Sergio | Feb 06, 2010
this story is really kind of weird (in my opinion). i do have to say that the way the characters talk to each other doesn’t seem completely realistic.
i think your a great writer. how you write keeps the reader reading. (that might not be the best way to put it, but i think you get my point.)
is there more?
sweetlittlecanine | Feb 06, 2010
this is really good =). I like the emotions you gave the main character, however just because you have one main character, doesn’t mean you should neglect the others. You should provide more detail about her husband. And the beginning is a little awkward, you should give it some context. Instead of Phillip just randomly mentioning the world is going to end, give us more to feed off before. Hope I helped =). The more detail the better!
DiLecia | Feb 06, 2010
