Cocktail

Love Actually

March 14th, 2010

Love Actually (2003) IMDB rating: 7.80 Plot: Set almost entirely in London, England during five frantic weeks before Christmas follows a web-like pattern of inter-related, loosely related and unrelated stories of a dozen or more various individuals with their love lives, or lack of them. The central character is the new bachelor prime minister David who cannot express his growing feelings for his new personal assistant Natalie. The prime minister’s older sister Karen slowly grows aware of her husband Harry’s flirtation with an office worker named Mia. Karen’s friend Daniel is a recently widowed writer whose 11-year-old son asks for love advice about a girl he has a crush on. Meanwhile, Jamie is another writer who leaves his girlfriend after catching her cheating on him and travels to France to write a novel where he pursues a possible romance with his non-English speaking Portuguese maid Aurelia. Also, Harry’s American secretary Sarah questions a romance she pursues with the office hunk Karl, but her personal family problems get in the way. Other secondary characters involve a photographer who pursues his best friend’s new wife Juliet; a pair of movie stand-ins, named John and Judy, who grow closer after their simulated love scenes; a libidinous chum who wants to travel to Wisconsin, USA to score with women; and a burned-out former rock star named Billy Mack who is the main connection between all stories involved.

Actors: Nighy Bill,Fisher Gregor,MacGregor Rory,Firth Colin,Neeson Liam,Marshall Kris,Freeman Martin,Ejiofor Chiwetel,Lincoln Andrew,Comedy,Drama,Romance,

Is he using me or will this "thing" actually lead somewhere? Should I not have sex with him anymore?
I met this guy on New Year’s Eve and we hit it off. Our mutual friend introduced us and she me he was the nicest person ever, which I found to be true. Aside from that he was attractive and didn’t consider himself superior to others. We went out on a couple of dates which went really well and I loved that he acted like a gentleman, unlike other guys I had dated.

Unfortunately things went too fast and 17 days after meeting him I ended up having sex. Not that the sex wasn’t exceptional because it was, it’s just the fact that now I think he’s just using me for it and I’m getting too attached. For example, we still go on dates and do many things together but we aren’t a couple.

1. He hasn’t changed his FB relationship status.
2. He referred to me as his friend.
3. He told me today the following, "Well, if this doesn’t turn into anything, at least we will have changed each one another’s lives."

On the other hand he wants me to meet his parents (they live in Michigan, we live in Kentucky). He has introduced me to his friends. He’s always such a gentleman and worries about me. I don’t know what to think. We have sex quite often (even on the webcam) … but is he just in it for the sex? will this lead to more or fizzle out?

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YOU SHOULD BE ASKING HIM THAT LUV… NOT US… GOODLUCK…
Ash | Feb 06, 2010

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it sounds like he’s into you but maybe a little concerned whether or not you have feelings for him i think you should sit and ask him about it cause i never knew a guy that wasn’t interested in a girl and took her to meet their parents especially when they live that far away
Casey | Feb 06, 2010

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Sounds like both of you are enjoying what’s going on so unless you or he wants to be in a serious relationship there is no need to change anything. And the best way to ruin a "good thing" I guess you can say with any guy is to stop having sex because then you will confuse the crap out of him and he (even though he might love you) will find someone else who solves problems by speaking/debating rather then withholding sex.
Charles | Feb 06, 2010

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First, he’s not using you. Your relationship isn’t defined, and he’s allowed to want a casual thing, if that’s what he wants.

It does seem likely that he wants to keep it casual (although there are definitely mixed signals there), and it seems like you don’t. So you need to talk to him about it, and tell him that you actually do want your currently-casual relationship to turn into something. Maybe he does too, in which case, great, you can make it official on Facebook. If he doesn’t, too bad, but at least then, you know.

There is another possibility: he might tell you he just wants to "see where it goes." This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s leading you on–this can be a perfectly legitimate attitude. But if you’re willing to wait and see, just make a mental note to come back to this question in a month or two, to see if you’ve made any progress.
Caio | Feb 06, 2010

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Look, if the guy likes you, as a person, then when you had sex with him is completely irrelevant.

Seriously, it doesn’t matter if you had sex with him on the first date, or the tenth date- if he feels a connection with you, then he’ll stick around and want more than just sex. If he doesn’t feel a connection, then he will just stick around for the sex, as long as you keep giving it to him.

In all honestly, all four of the relationships that I have had- I have had sex with those guys the first night that we hung out together. I know that some people might view me negatively for that, but I don’t think anything of it- I was an adult, I knew what I wanted, I was capable of making my own decisions, and I was careful as well.
I haven’t actually even had a ‘one night stand’ because every time that I intended it to be a one night stand, the guy kept calling/ pursuing me until I agreed to be his girlfriend. Also, these relationships did last until something occurred and they were broken off- the guy didn’t just end it out of nowhere, or because the sex became less frequent.

I messed around with my current boyfriend the first night that we hung out together, and, over two and a half years later, we are still together, and in fact, we live together.

As long as he feels a connection with you, and feels as though the two of you are compatible, then the fact that you had sex with him when you did will have absolutely nothing to do with him wanting (or not wanting) a relationship with you. He’s not going to think to himself: "well, she did me less than twenty days after hanging out. She’s a sIut. Even though I feel as though I have known her my whole life, and I really, really like her, I am just going to break up with her cause she slept with me so soon."
No.
If he likes you, and enjoys doing other things with you as well as having sex, then he won’t want to JUST have sex; he will want to be exclusive with you.

Also, you haven’t even been seeing each other for two months yet- it is soon for him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Out of all of my serious relationships, I think the soonest that I became exclusive with any of them was after two months, so just give it a few more weeks or so and see what happens.
You two are still in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase, and just because you had sex does NOT mean that he now has to either commit, or dump you; he might need more time to be around you and to sense that he would be able to be with you long term before he asks you to be exclusive.

If you are really worried about it, then you can ask him about it, but if you don’t want to corner him and put him on the spot and potentially scare him off, then either wait until you absolutely can’t stand it anymore, or break up with him.
Easy.
holymell | Feb 06, 2010

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I could tell you what I think about this situation but I dont know the guy. The best thing you can do is have a talk with him yeah I know some guys hate having the talk. Just let him know what you just asked us. The FB thing is not big deal some ppl just forget to change it. But ask him this; are you guys just friends w/benefits or r u guys more than that.
LaSurda | Feb 06, 2010

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I think you are asking the wrong people the right question. You need to talk to him about this. Clearly he is giving cues for you to assume he is invested but holding off a bit to see what you think and feel. You have to remember that he is just as vulnerable to you as you are to him at this point. Just talk to him. What’s the worst that could happen? He says "hell no" and you move on. Sure you will be a little upset over it but if you are ready to lay it on the line and he isn’t…that’s just it.
chrissy757 | Feb 06, 2010

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