Because of Winn-Dixie

I normally write novels, but I decided to take a chance at a movie script. The script was originally a story of mine, but this way it is way more descriptive. It centers around a young man who deals with his sister’s death, and he has OCD.
Characters – Nate, main character. Gracie, dead, but alive in the dream. Mr. and Mrs. Hoffman, Nate and Gracie’s parents.

Nate’s Apartment – Early Morning

Fade in: From busy New York street to Nate’s Apartment building

Voice over(Nate):The obsession had officially taken over my life.

CLOSE UP:Nate sleeping in his loft, twitching restlessly.

Fade to: Nate’s dream. there is a face of a young girl at first. She is smiling. She hugs Nate happily and starts talking to him.

Cut to: Nate tied up in a chair, smiling.

Gracie: My friends and I play this game all the time. It’s called escape.

Nate: This is what you do with your friends on the weekends? I thought hanging out was in now.

GRACIE laughs, then fear overtakes her emotions. She locks the door of the room they are in, making Nate nervous.

Nate: Hey, Grace, what are you doing?

GRACIE looks at Nate and frowns. She gets a roll of duct tape from one of her drawers and tapes his hands together and his feet to the ground. She quickly tapes his mouth shut before he can say anything.

Gracie(Crying): I’m sorry Nate. I love you and mom and dad, I really do, but living is just too much of a burden for me.

Nate’s muffled screams are heard; he knows whats about to happen.

Gracie(Getting a gun from under her bed): i love you Nate. You’re my best friend and the best brother anyone could ever have. But I have to leave.

Gracie holds the gun to her heart.

Gracie(emotionally): Tell mom and dad that I’m sorry.

She pulls the trigger.

CLOSE UP: Nate’s face, plastered with sweat. his eyes are screaming with agony, and he is trying to scream, but it sounds muffled because of the tape. hits the back of his chair to the wall to catch the attention of his parents.

We hear Mrs. and Mr. Hoffman traveling to the room. They open the door. Mrs. Hoffman helps Mr. Hoffman untie Nate.

Once Nate is free, he runs to Gracie’s dead body, which is lying face down on the floor. he strokes her hair, sobbing uncontrollably. He finally turns her face up, to see that she was officially dead.

Cut to:Nate waking up abruptly from his nightmare. He takes deep breaths, then checks his alarm clock on his night stand. It reads 7:09

Nate gets up from bed, stumbling to his bathroom and switching the light on. He opens his cabinet and fishes through the insignificant things to find his medications. He finds them and pops the bottle open, pouring two pills into his hand. He puts them into his mouth and turns on the faucet, drinking the water straight from it.

We see him calming down little by little, looking at himself in the mirror. He is relaxed and sinks to the bathroom floor.

Nate(voice over):The dream was the start of my monotonous, repetitive, day.

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Well Done! You have a very good, intriguing story. If I were to pull you up on a few things it would be:

- Avoid putting in camera angles (leave that to the director)

- I wouldn’t say things like "we see him calming down little by little", try instead saying "Nate calms down a little and looks at himself in the mirror". Saying "We see" means you might not be taken seriously as a professional.

- Try looking at other scripts to get your layout right, you can download some at http://www.script-o-rama.com/ or type "script writing layout" (or something similar) into Google.

- Be as professional and as careful with layout/grammar/spelling as possible, if you are trying to sell this to a studio.

- I have read on internet sites that being less descriptive and only giving vague outlines and details is a better way of going as it lets the Director have as much scope as he needs to produce a script – I agree as being too descriptive limits imagination.

And just keep up the excellent work and be as original as you can.

| Jul 03, 2009