End of the Line – DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
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IMDB rating: 6.40 Plot: In this unsettling and creepy thriller, Karen (Ilona Elkin), a young nurse who works in a psychiatric ward, boards the last subway train of the night only to have it stop suddenly in the middle of the tunnel. As those around her are brutally murdered, Karen and a handful of survivors must face supernatural forces, homicidal religious cult members, as well as their own fears and suspicions of Armageddon, in order to survive. |
Available versions:
DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Wright Nicolas,Napier Neil,Rozon Tim,Blanco Danny,Vamvas John,Wilcock Robin,McQuaid Kent,Vezina Robert,Schaap David,Horror,
What do you think of my Prologue?
Ok, so Im not a very good writer but I had a weird daydream while in Maths class and decided to write a story out of it. Any opinions and suggestions to improve my Prologue would be great because I don’t want to waste time writing about an idea that sucks.
This was the daydream I had:
The starless night sky was pitch black. The moon hung in the sky, hiding behind the clouds. There was a hint of moisture in the air, indicating rain was to come soon.
I checked my pocket watch, the thin sliver of moonlight that I could see behind the clouds reflected off it’s silver surface. The tiny clock hands showed five minutes until the new day.
As I hurried along the cobble stone streets of Phentom Falls, my boots slapping the pavement as I ran, I glanced back over my shoulder to make sure I was not being followed. I was a little comforted at the fact that everyone would be sleeping at this hour though I still jumped at the slightest sounds; the scurrying of mice underfoot, the flap of a birds wings as they flew over head. What I was about to do tonight was very risky, like putting a blade to my throat.
I slowed down my pace as I neared the end of the street, spotting my destination; an alleyway. I stopped in the mouth of the alley when the vile odor of rotting garbage filled my nostrils. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to gag.
The narrow alley was dark, shadows clinging to every little crevice. Further down I could see flimsy balcony’s with stairs zigzagging from one balcony to another, lining the walls.
"You came, Cordelia" The cool, low voice came from within the alley, startling me.
The owner of the voice, a tall, lean boy, stepped out of the darkness. His hair was like a gold halo though he was no angel. I couldn’t make out any other features beacuse his face was shrouded in shadows.
"I hadn’t much choice" I reminded him bitterly.
He smiled slightly, a slow, chilling smile, as if amused by my earlier reluctance to come here tonight.
"Come" He ordered me, turning back into the alley and motioning with his hand for me to follow.
I took a deep breath and wearily stepped into the alleyway, following him and the sound of his light footsteps.
He stopped in the middle of the alley, just under a balcony. He then lit a candle and held it up, bathing the alley in light from the glow of the candle.
"Are you ready?" he asked me apprehensively, now placing the candle and it’s brass holder on the ground. He crouched down near the candle, his face still in shadow, and looked up as the moon slowly moved from behind the clouds.
"Yes, it is almost time" I pulled out my silver pocket watch. One minute to the new day.
I then removed the flask from my purse, containing the potion I had brewed before coming here. With that I also took out a small, gold handled blade engraved with delicate flowers and vines.
I unscrewed the lid of the flask and handed the flask to the boy, freeing my hand as I positioned the blade over my palm.
I looked up at the sky. The moon hung there, a bright silver orb floating in darkness. It was time.
I could feel the boys eyes boring into me as I brought the blade down.
I had just nicked the skin on my palm when a searing pain shot through my chest. I looked down at myself, wondering what had caused this incredible pain, the hand holding the blade pausingly.
A sword was producing from my chest, just to the right of my heart. I put a hand to my chest, around where the sword had skewered me. Blood steadily seeped into my clothes, flowing through my fingers and dripping down my arm. I looked at the boy in horror, to where he still crouched, clutching the flask.
He moved into the light of the candle and I saw his eyes. Blazing, leaf green eyes looked back at me, filled with a fierce rage.
I crumpled to the floor as the boy gave me a regretful look and glanced behind me, into the darkness where the sword had come from. Then he retreated back into the shadows of the alleyway, the flask with him.
It had just started raining as I lay there, slowly bleeding to death, my blood running down the cobble stones and mixing with the rain water.
I had one last thought.
I had been followed. It was him. He had known.
The new day had come.
Please let me know what you think 
I like it. Kinda wanna know what happens next.
Trblmkr1311 | Nov 14, 2009